Monday, February 4, 2013

Planting the Blueberry Bushes Anyway

I am very aware today that time is marching on.

My 24 year old daughter is leaving the northwest tomorrow to head east for work and living. Watching her sort through the boxes that have been collecting dust up in the attic of her childhood and college years has certainly brought home the fact that she is putting her life in order so that she can move full throttle into her adulthood. I’m thrilled to see her reaching for her dreams. I’m delighted that she’s been so smart about it. I’m glad that when I buy chocolate now, it will be there when I want it.

She moved back in for about 3 months while transitioning from a job and traveling across the globe.  It isn’t the easiest thing to have an adult child move back in but we were all pretty clear that the only way it would work was if it was temporary.  We have a great relationship – and no one wanted to regress. She didn’t want parenting. I didn’t want to parent her. We all tried - success was marginal.
I’ve got one child still at home who has the honor of receiving the gift of my parenting – and she turns eighteen this year. This is where I start hearing that marching beat. One child married, the other moving back east and the youngest looking at colleges and figuring out when she’s going to take the SAT.

This really does have something to do with blueberry bushes.

See, the thing is I’ve always tended to plot out projects two or three years out – especially in regards to the yard. I planted asparagus last year which means next year I get to harvest it. I almost didn’t plant it.  This winter, I’ve decided to remake some of my garden space into beds that require lower maintenance. I don’t want quite so much to tend this year – or any year after, actually.  So why plant anything at all especially if it’s going to take a while for certain bushes – like blueberries or raspberries – to get big enough to bear fruit?
The answer is simple enough – I have no idea what I will be doing in 2-3 years. I don’t have a crystal ball. So why not plant the blueberry bushes and raspberry vines? I can sow wildflowers in the other beds and let pumpkins grow wildly throughout the space.  Here’s my epiphany: I don’t need to continue to tend the garden in the same way that I have in the past.  

I am not tending my children in the same ways I have in the past either.  It’s all about letting go.
The blueberries are planted now, taking over space that was devoted to rows of vegetables last year.  They’ll need a little water now and then, maybe a trim – but other than that, I’ll just let them grow and flourish on their own.

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