Sunday, October 16, 2011

Heading back into the Wilderness...of me.

I'm headed back out on another wilderness retreat.  Camping in the snow last April wasn't enough for me - oh no - I want to really push my boundaries.  I signed up for a four part workshop. A session each season.  The first will be in northwest Wyoming.
At least there are cabins for this first foray into the immersive experience.
Did I really just have a nostalgic moment remembering my tent covered in snow?

God, I must be hooked.
As I head towards this workshop, I keep mulling over some of the questions I had to answer on my application.  What dreams am I having? What numinous encounters have I had?  What is the way in which I want to deliver my unique gifts to the world?
I've also been wondering about the men and women joining me on this journey - what do I want to bring to this group? 
The first set of questions are unanswerable at this moment.  Not that I don't know or have some inklings into my experiences; however, I'm comfortable letting them stay unformed for now.  Wrapping words around a process too early just might narrow my vision too much.  I want to explore and give space for all possible meanings, not just what I might think right now.
Hmmm - that way of thinking may just be one of the bonuses of getting older.
The second question is much easier and yet in line with what I just wrote as well.  This new group forming invites curiosity.  Not judgements and not anxiety.  Curiosity and invitation.
Another sign of aging gracefully: self acceptance and not needed to put myself 'out there' right away.
As I start at the beginning with a new group of people, I'm aware that I am also involved in an ending with another group of people - my coworkers.  This is brought home with more clarity each week as we edge towards the end of the year.  Beginnings and endings.  Transitions and change. 
That's just aging period.  Not always gracefully.
We'll see where this exploration takes me - on the other side.

1 comment:

  1. First of got me to look up "numinous". :) I also love the questions you are asking yourself. I am not on a retreat but I am going to borrow your questions and think about them as well. Love you.